The Power and Control Wheel is a visual tool that has become integral in identifying patterns of abuse in relationships.

Developed in 1984 by the Domestic Abuse Intervention Programs (DAIP) in Duluth, Minnesota, the wheel is used to illustrate the various tactics abusers employ to maintain control over their victims. Over time, the Power and Control Wheel has been adapted and incorporated into legal systems, including CAFCASS (Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service) in the UK, to help identify and address narcissistic abuse and other forms of emotional and psychological manipulation. However, one significant issue remains: the unfair gender bias that still exists in the application of the model.

The Eight Parts of the Power and Control Wheel

The Power and Control Wheel is divided into eight segments, each representing a different tactic used by abusers to gain power over their victims. These tactics are not always overt or visible but can be deeply damaging and long-lasting.

1. Using Intimidation
   Intimidation involves using threats, gestures, or other behaviors to instill fear. This can include breaking objects, threatening harm, or creating an atmosphere of fear. The goal is to make the victim feel afraid and helpless.
2. Using Emotional Abuse
   Emotional abuse involves belittling, name-calling, and making the victim feel worthless or incapable. Abusers may use this tactic to break down the victim’s self-esteem and make them feel like they can’t escape the relationship.
3. Using Isolation
   Abusers often isolate their victims from family and friends. They may discourage social interactions, monitor communication, or create situations where the victim feels cut off from outside support. Isolation makes it harder for the victim to escape or seek help.
4. Minimizing, Denying, and Blaming
   Abusers often minimize their actions or deny any wrongdoing. They may say things like, “You’re overreacting,” or “I didn’t mean it that way,” to downplay the abuse. In addition, they will blame the victim for the situation, making them feel responsible for the abuse they are enduring.
5. Using Children
   One of the most damaging forms of abuse is using children as a weapon. Abusers may threaten to take the children away, use them to manipulate the victim, or turn the children against the victim. This tactic is common in parental alienation cases, where one parent uses the child to harm the other parent emotionally.
6. Using Male Privilege
   Although the Power and Control Wheel was originally designed with male perpetrators in mind, it continues to be used to describe how gender privilege can be used as a form of control. In some cases, male privilege allows the abuser to make all the important decisions, restrict the victim’s access to resources, and dismiss their opinions or needs.
7. Using Economic Abuse
   Economic abuse involves controlling the victim’s finances, limiting access to money, or preventing the victim from gaining financial independence. Abusers may withhold money, prevent the victim from working, or require them to account for every penny spent.
8. Coercion and Threats
   Coercion and threats are tactics used to manipulate the victim into compliance. Abusers may threaten harm, expose secrets, or make promises they don’t intend to keep to manipulate the victim into doing what they want.

The Gender Bias in the Power and Control Wheel

Although the Power and Control Wheel is widely used to identify patterns of abuse, one significant issue remains: the gender bias in its original conception. The wheel was designed with male perpetrators in mind, often portraying women as the victims of male aggression and control. However, domestic abuse does not discriminate based on gender. It can happen in any relationship, regardless of the genders of the individuals involved.

While narcissistic abuse can occur in both heterosexual and same-sex relationships, the wheel’s gendered approach may inadvertently cause some cases to be overlooked. For example, in situations where women are the perpetrators or when male victims are involved, the gendered model may fail to fully recognize their experience of abuse.

CAFCASS, which uses the Duluth model to assess domestic abuse cases in the family court, is sometimes criticized for its limited application of the Power and Control Wheel. When assessing the dynamics of parental alienation or abusive behaviors in family disputes, CAFCASS must be mindful of gender neutrality and ensure that all forms of abuse—whether perpetrated by men or women—are equally recognized and addressed.

Narcissistic Abuse and Parental Alienation

One of the most damaging forms of abuse within the Power and Control Wheel is narcissistic abuse. Narcissistic abusers manipulate their victims through emotional manipulation, coercive control, and the deliberate distortion of reality (gaslighting). Narcissists use tactics from the wheel, such as using children, minimizing their behavior, and economic abuse, to control their victims.

In cases of parental alienation, narcissistic abusers often manipulate the children to create a false narrative about the other parent. This tactic is a prime example of using the children to control the victim. It is important to recognize this as a form of domestic abuse, not just a custody dispute.

The Role of CAFCASS in Domestic Abuse Cases

CAFCASS plays a vital role in family court cases in the UK, especially in cases involving domestic abuse. The service uses the Power and Control Wheel as part of its assessment process. The goal is to understand the dynamics of abusive relationships, particularly where children are involved. By recognizing the signs of coercive control, CAFCASS aims to ensure the safety and wellbeing of children and parents involved in family disputes.

However, CAFCASS and other organizations must be cautious not to perpetuate gender bias in their use of the Power and Control Wheel. The wheel’s application should focus on the abusive behaviours, not on the gender of the perpetrator. This helps ensure that all victims—whether male or female—are given the support and recognition they need.

Conclusion: Moving Beyond Gender Bias

The Power and Control Wheel is a powerful tool for understanding the dynamics of narcissistic abuse and domestic abuse. However, it is essential that this tool is used in a gender-neutral way, recognizing that both men and women can be perpetrators and victims of abuse. CAFCASS and other organizations must continue to challenge outdated gender narratives and apply the Power and Control Wheel to accurately assess and address all forms of abusive behavior.

By raising awareness of the Power and Control Wheel and its implications for parental alienation, victims can find the support they need to break free from the cycle of abuse. Narcissistic abuse can be devastating, but with the right understanding and tools, survivors can reclaim their lives and heal from the trauma caused by coercive control.

Kevin R Webb (MEd.L, BEd., BA Found., QTS), Somatic Trauma Informed Narcissistic Abuse Coach

For a more in-depth understanding of The Power And Control Wheel and it’s relation to CAFCASS and Parental Alienation, watch this hugely informative video:

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If you’ve experienced abuse of any type and can’t find a way forward, contact me for effective, affordable, coaching support. Email support@thepowerandcontrolwheel.co.uk