A simple chat can make all the difference
FOR HELP AND SUPPORT: support@thepowerandcontrolwheel.co.uk
Free Helpline for Narcissistic Abuse & Parental Alienation Support
Faith-informed chat for mums, dads, grandparents & survivors of narcissistic abuse
You’re Not Alone. And It’s Not Your Fault.
Whether you’re dealing with parental alienation, narcissistic abuse, or feeling overwhelmed by the Family Court system, schools, or toxic relationships — this free abuse helpline is here for you
✅ The abuse is real
✅ You're not going crazy
✅ You deserve to be heard — without fear, shame, or judgment.
Book your FREE 30-Minute Support Call
When you’re ready, book a free, confidential 30-minute call with me. This is a safe space to share what you’re going through and feel understood.
- UK? I’ll call from a private number
- Overseas? I’ll send you a Zoom link
- You choose the time — no surprise call-backs
Is This Just for Alienated Parents?
No — this free helpline is also for people navigating:
- Workplace abuse or bullying
- Family scapegoat roles
- Adult child estrangement
- Domestic abuse
- Narcissistic relationships of any kind
There’s no expectation to book ongoing sessions. Sometimes, just one honest, trauma-informed conversation can be the start of healing. You’re not weak. You’re human.
Faith-Informed and Trauma-Aware
Narcissistic abuse — whether at home, at work, or within your family — is soul-destroying. It damages your health, finances, confidence, and sense of self.
Most people don’t understand. Some blame you. Others walk away. You’re left isolated, doubting your own reality.
Let’s be clear: this is not your fault.
Abuse isn’t about gender — it’s about power and control. It shows up in families, schools, courts, churches, workplaces — even in our systems and governments. The Bible calls this the work of “powers and principalities.”
And yes, some of these people are narcissists, borderlines, sociopaths. It’s time to place accountability where it belongs — not on you.
Why I Do This
I’ve walked this path myself. I’m a trained Samaritans listener, DAVIA member, and I work from a faith-led perspective, guided by compassion and truth.
This free abuse helpline gives you a moment to pause and feel supported — no judgment, no pressure.
You can explore support or coaching later, but right now… let’s just talk
Confidentiality & Safety
Alienated parents, please read the Gov UK law about Parental Rights and Responsibilities.
These support calls are confidential within the limits of English law. I’ll never share anything unless:
- You disclose terrorism or FGM
- There’s a court or coroner’s order
- There’s immediate risk of serious harm
I will always discuss it with you first, where possible. These calls are not medical or clinical and don’t affect your medical records.
Why Booking a Call Matters
Isolation keeps abuse going. Choosing to book a call is a powerful step toward reclaiming your voice and reality.
Whether you’re looking for parental alienation help, emotional validation, or faith-led support, I’m here for you.
Book your free call now and take back a little control — one conversation at a time.
For general enquiries, please contact:
info@thepowerandcontrolwheel.co.uk
Supporting Victims of Narcissistic Abuse
With a deep commitment to supporting victims of narcissistic abuse and parental alienation, I have been actively involved in this work since 2017.
I played a key role in developing and running a UK charity helpline for alienated parents, ensuring volunteers received specialised training through Parental Alienation Awareness. As a former trustee of a national parental alienation charity, I’ve supported countless families in crisis.
I went on to create a UK-wide online and in-person support service for those affected by narcissistic abuse and alienation. This included writing the Host’s Guide for Support Groups and designing the Safe Space Agreement, a trauma-informed code of conduct to ensure support environments are welcoming, respectful, and protective for all.
I have presented to the Department for Work and Pensions on the somatic impacts of narcissistic abuse, helping professionals better understand the body-based trauma responses that survivors often experience.
My background also includes:
- Counselling training
- Over 30 years as a primary and secondary school teacher and senior leader
- Prior Subject Advisor for Initial Teacher Training
- Experience working with disaffected and vulnerable adults
- Enhanced DBS clearance and full safeguarding training
- Multiple national awards for education and leadership
Resources to help understand Narcissistic Abuse
Identifying Parental Alienation
On this website and the YouTube channel, I help you identify the behaviours and factors of parental alienation, and where it is on The Power And Control Wheel.
Understanding the Power and Control Wheel
The Power and Control Wheel—originally developed through the Duluth Model—is widely referenced in UK family law, including by CAFCASS (Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service). It is also included in the Family Justice Council’s guidance to judges, which now clearly differentiates between cases of domestic abuse and what they refer to as the rarer instances of parental alienation.
This is why it’s so important to engage with the Power and Control Wheel in a non-gendered and inclusive way. The model provides a framework for understanding coercive control and the full spectrum of emotional, psychological, and physical abuse—including parental alienation. Its relevance within civil court proceedings makes it a critical reference point when addressing patterns of manipulation and control, especially in high-conflict family dynamics.
While the original Duluth Model includes concepts such as “Male Privilege,” it’s essential to approach these terms critically and contextually. Abuse is not defined by gender—it is defined by power imbalances and coercive behaviour, regardless of who is perpetrating it. Unfortunately, narratives around domestic abuse are often shaped by institutions, funding bodies, and advocacy groups that may present a one-sided view.
Our approach encourages you to look beyond stereotypes and political agendas, and instead focus on the individual experiences of harm, regardless of gender. Abuse is abuse—whether it’s committed by a man or a woman—and recognising this truth is vital for justice, healing, and meaningful reform.
What is the Power and Control Wheel?
The Power and Control Wheel was created in 1984 by Ellen Pence and Michael Paymar to illustrate the wide range of tactics used in abusive relationships—highlighting that domestic abuse is not limited to physical violence. It helped shift awareness toward emotional, psychological, financial, and coercive forms of abuse.
Originally developed with a specific focus on male violence against women, the model—commonly known as the Duluth Model—includes terms such as Male Privilege and is written using gendered language. However, in today’s context, this framing can be misleading and harmful, especially for alienated parents and male victims of abuse.
Domestic abuse is about power and control—not gender. Research from sources such as DAVIA (Domestic Abuse and Violence International Alliance) and The National Domestic Abuse Hotline shows that abuse occurs at nearly equal rates across genders. While the media, legislation, and much of the education system often reinforce a gendered narrative, this does not reflect the full scope of lived experiences.
Despite this, many organisations—including CAFCASS, couples counsellors, and family therapists—continue to refer to the Duluth Model. For those engaging in couples counselling, it’s worth asking whether your therapist uses a gendered framework. A truly trauma-informed approach must be inclusive, evidence-based, and non-discriminatory.
We encourage a more balanced understanding of the Power and Control Wheel—one that reflects the reality that abuse can be perpetrated by anyone, regardless of gender. To truly support survivors, we must push back against one-size-fits-all narratives and ensure that every voice is heard.
The Power and Control Wheel is not the same as the Wheel of Power, although it’s worth having a look at.
What are the range of tactics on the Wheel?
- Coersion and threats
- Intimidation
- Emotional abuse
- Isolation
- Minimising, denying and blaming
- Using (weaponizing) children
- Economic abuse
- Male privilege
Each of these tactics are broken down further into examples
How does parental alienation fit in with the Power and Control Wheel?
Parental alienation is a form of domestic abuse, domestic violence, child abuse. You can find it on the Wheel, labelled as ‘Weaponizing the children’ i.e. ‘alienating behaviours’. The Wheel is ‘gendered’. However, when you look at the huge number of traumatized men and women Internationally who are being denied their ability to parent their children, let alone see and interact with them, it’s clear to see the vicarious abuse through the children i.e. children weaponized. Hence, it places question over the accuracy of Male Privilege and the need for the Duluth Power And Control Wheel to be replaced by a non-gendered Wheel. Alienated parents must call for this.
What support do you provide for victims?
The key to surviving and recovering from this abuse is ‘EDUCATION’.
I offer a FREE ear for you to talk, someone who understands. It’s important to come out of isolation. Use the Contacts Form to arrange a call-back.
For more support, I take the educational approach i.e. help you understand what you’re facing in the form of ‘Talk’ Support Sessions. Costs are low.
To help you regain your agency, health, life and future back, I also have Coaching sessions available; again, this is education, not ‘care’ or ‘therapy’. Again, costs are low – it’s been hard enough already on your finances.
You’ll find many valuable videos on my YouTube channel, with this speech in particular at the last Conference in Somerset. I go live every couple of weeks, so remember to Subscribe and click on the Bell for notifications.
I attend Support Groups to speak with people about Parental Alienation. If you’d like me to attend a session, please do get in touch.
I hold presentation to the Department for Work and Pensions to raise awareness of this ‘alienated’ community group and the challenges they face with daily functioning, why this is so. Please do get in touch.
How can I book Support and Coaching sessions with you?
To book a Support session, whether Talk Support or Coaching, go to the Booking page and choose a suitable time and date. Payment will need to be made at least a day prior to the session- PayPal and Direct Bank Transfer is available, details will be sent. Sessions are only £40 p/hr individually, or £35 for any block booking of two or more. Re-scheduling will need at least 24-hour notice. Although I’m unable to refund any booked sessions, I can reschedule for up to 4 weeks to help.