In coaching and leadership today, being trauma-informed is more than helpful — it’s necessary. This is especially true when working with survivors of narcissistic abuse or parental alienation.

Trauma doesn’t stay in the past. It lives in the body and brain. As Dr. Bessel van der Kolk says in The Body Keeps the Score, trauma leaves an imprint that affects how people think, feel, and connect with others.

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What Is Trauma-Informed Coaching?

Trauma-informed coaching means understanding how trauma affects the nervous system. Many people feel stuck, not because they’re unmotivated, but because their nervous system is still in survival mode.

They may experience:

• Emotional flashbacks
• Anxiety or hypervigilance
• People-pleasing
• Shut-down responses

These are not flaws. They are survival skills. A trauma-informed coach recognises these patterns and responds with care. We do not push people. Instead, we work with curiosity, respect, and support.

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Why Trauma Comes in Many Forms

Trauma shows up in many ways. It can be acute, chronic, complex, developmental, or relational. In my work, I focus on relational trauma, such as:

• Narcissistic abuse
• Coercive control
• Parental alienation

These experiences can leave people feeling disconnected from who they are. Many struggle to trust themselves or others. They live with constant stress and fear. That’s why we don’t jump into goals or mindsets right away. Instead, we begin with nervous system support, emotional safety, and body awareness.

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Why Agency Is Key to Healing

One of the most powerful parts of trauma-informed coaching is helping people take back their agency. This means helping them make clear, values-based choices.

Trauma often cuts people off from their inner voice. However, with the right support, they learn to choose how they respond, who they trust, and what they want. This process builds confidence and calm. Over time, they feel more in control of their lives.

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Tailoring Coaching to Each Person

Trauma affects everyone differently. A person’s background, culture, nervous system, and lived experiences all matter. That’s why coaching should never be one-size-fits-all.

I use many tools to support clients, including:

• Somatic practices
• Internal Family Systems (IFS) (informed)
• Grounding techniques
• Clear boundaries and consent

Together, we adjust the pace and focus of the work. Clients get support that fits their needs — not someone else’s model.

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Staying Ethical and Safe

Trauma-informed coaching also means staying ethical and aware. I follow the ICF’s core principles, and I’m always learning more about:

• Trauma science
• Somatic healing
• Safe communication

I use clear language, strong boundaries, and inclusive practices. As Gabor Maté says in The Myth of Normal, “Safety is not the absence of threat—it is the presence of connection.” I work to build that connection in every session.

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Healing With Compassion and Clarity

Healing is not a straight line. It’s a journey. Some days move fast. Others feel slow. A trauma-informed coach walks alongside the client, no matter the pace.

I don’t see people as broken. I see their strength. I see their wisdom. With the right tools and support, they can heal and grow.

This work is not only about recovery. It’s about becoming who you truly are.

References:

• Van der Kolk, B. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind and Body in the Healing of Trauma.
• Maté, G. (2022). The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness and Healing in a Toxic Culture.
• Fisher, J. (2017). Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors.

Kevin R Webb (MEd.L, BEd., BA Found., QTS), Somatic Trauma Informed Narcissistic Abuse Coach

Ready to Take the Next Step in Your Healing?

If you’re a survivor of narcissistic abuse, struggling with parental alienation, or feeling overwhelmed by your trauma, you’re not alone. You deserve support that sees the whole you — not just your symptoms.

As a trauma-informed somatic coach, I offer a safe, grounded space where healing, self-leadership, and transformation can begin. Together, we’ll work at your pace, with compassion, clarity, and trust.

👉 Book a free 30-minute discovery call to explore if trauma-informed coaching is the right next step for you.

Let’s reconnect you to your voice, your power, and your path forward.

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