Manipulative relationships can be hard to recognize and even harder to escape.
They can occur in any area of life—friendships, families, the workplace, or romantic relationships. Often, the manipulation is subtle and persistent, leaving deep emotional wounds and lasting trauma.
o truly heal, it must be understood that trauma lives in the nervous system, not just in memory. Somatic trauma-informed coaching helps address these deep-rooted imprints by working with the body, not against it.
The Hidden Damage of Manipulative Relationships
Manipulation isn’t always loud or aggressive. It can show up as guilt-tripping, gaslighting, or passive-aggressive behavior. Victims often feel anxious, isolated, or full of self-doubt.
Narcissistic abuse is a common form of emotional manipulation. The abuser often blames others, denies wrongdoing, and twists reality. Victims are left doubting their own experiences and losing their sense of identity.
This kind of abuse can show up in multiple life areas:
- Toxic friendships filled with jealousy or control
- Family dynamics where scapegoating is used to deflect blame
- Workplace manipulation through power plays or silent bullying
- Romantic relationships filled with coercion or emotional neglect
- Parental alienation, where children are used as weapons to punish the other parent
Recognizing the Patterns of Control
All manipulative relationships share a common goal—control. This control can be emotional, financial, social, or psychological. Some common signs include:
- Feeling like you’re walking on eggshells
- Constantly second-guessing your thoughts or feelings
- Feeling guilty for expressing needs or boundaries
- Being blamed for others’ actions
- Feeling isolated from support systems
These symptoms are not just emotional. Over time, trauma is stored in the body, affecting sleep, digestion, energy, and immune function.
Trauma Lives in the Body, Not Just the Mind
Many survivors try talk therapy and feel something is still missing. That’s because trauma isn’t just stored in thoughts—it’s stored in nervous system patterns. This includes fight, flight, freeze, or fawn responses.
Somatic trauma-informed coaching works with the body’s wisdom. It allows survivors to slowly and safely reconnect with their physical sensations and emotions. This helps the nervous system return to safety, creating space for healing.
Simple somatic practices may include:
- Breathing slowly while placing a hand on the heart
- Noticing body tension without judgment
- Grounding techniques like feeling your feet on the floor
- Using gentle movement to release trapped energy
Scapegoating in Families and Workplaces
Scapegoating is a form of manipulation where one person is consistently blamed for group problems. It is common in dysfunctional families and toxic workplaces.
The scapegoat may be labeled “too sensitive,” “difficult,” or “the problem.” Over time, this narrative can deeply impact self-esteem and emotional health.
Breaking free begins with recognizing that this role was assigned, not chosen. You are not the problem. Healing involves releasing internalized shame and rebuilding your sense of worth.
Narcissistic Abuse and Parental Alienation
In families, narcissistic abuse often overlaps with parental alienation. This occurs when one parent manipulates the child to reject the other parent. It is a severe form of emotional abuse that affects both the child and the alienated parent.
The targeted parent is often portrayed as dangerous, unloving, or unfit—without evidence. Children may adopt this distorted view as truth. Parental alienation leaves lasting trauma for all involved.
Recognizing it as domestic abuse is crucial. This form of manipulation must be taken seriously in both therapeutic and legal settings.
Healing Through Somatic Trauma Informed Coaching
Healing is not a mental decision. It is a nervous system process. You cannot think your way out of trauma—but you can feel your way through it.
Somatic trauma-informed coaching provides tools to:
- Regulate the nervous system
- Reconnect with the body’s signals
- Release shame, guilt, and fear stored in the body
- Build boundaries and healthy relationship patterns
- Reclaim self-trust and inner stability
This approach is gentle, body-centered, and empowering. Survivors are supported in rediscovering their agency and voice.
Rebuilding Trust and Personal Power
Reclaiming your life involves more than leaving the relationship. It means rebuilding trust in yourself and others.
This may include:
- Setting and maintaining firm boundaries
- Choosing relationships that feel safe and respectful
- Reclaiming hobbies, passions, and routines
- Building a support system that validates your reality
- Learning to say no without guilt
With the right support, survivors can move from survival mode to empowered living.
You Are Not Alone in This Journey
Escaping manipulative relationships is a brave and challenging step. The trauma may run deep, but so does your capacity for healing.
By working with the body through somatic trauma-informed coaching, a return to safety, clarity, and self-trust is possible.
No matter where manipulation appeared—at home, in love, among friends, or at work—you can break the cycle. Your nervous system can be supported. Your truth can be reclaimed.
And most importantly: you are not broken—you are breaking free.
Final Thoughts
Manipulative relationships can leave invisible scars. Whether they occurred in childhood, adulthood, or both, these experiences don’t define you. Through somatic trauma-informed coaching, a new way forward can be embodied—one grounded in nervous system safety, not fear.
Healing is not only possible—it’s your right.
Kevin R Webb (MEd.L, BEd., BA Found., QTS), Somatic Trauma Informed Narcissistic Abuse Coach
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If you’ve experienced abuse of any type and can’t find a way forward, contact me for effective, affordable, coaching support. Email support@thepowerandcontrolwheel.co.uk
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