What do children who survived the chaos of World War II and D-Day have in common with children growing up today in emotionally abusive homes?
More than we often realise.
Whether it’s bombs overhead or psychological warfare at the dinner table, Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) shape the lives of children — and echo for generations. In this blog, we explore how traumatic events from the past connect to the emotional pain experienced today, and how somatic trauma healing offers a path forward.
Childhood Trauma During WWII and D-Day
For children during WWII, trauma wasn’t rare — it was daily life.
They witnessed destruction, lost parents, and were often evacuated or orphaned. The events of D-Day alone left thousands displaced, terrified, and forced to grow up too fast. The sound of bombs, the fear of soldiers, the absence of parents — these weren’t isolated events. They were part of childhood.
These children weren’t given therapy. They were told to be strong, to carry on.
The result? Generations raised by adults who had never been taught how to feel safe, how to regulate their emotions, or how to model healthy relationships.
The Legacy of Emotional Disconnection
Children of war survivors often describe their parents as distant, overly strict, or emotionally unavailable. Not out of cruelty, but because emotional shutdown became a survival strategy.
These adults may have suppressed their own emotions for decades. Unable to process the terror and grief of their early years, they raised children in environments where love felt conditional, and vulnerability was seen as weakness.
This emotional absence can pass down. And today, many children face another kind of invisible war: narcissistic abuse.
Narcissistic Parenting: The Modern ACE
Narcissistic parenting isn’t always loud or violent. It’s subtle, confusing, and deeply damaging.
These children grow up:
- Feeling never good enough
- Walking on eggshells
- Suppressing their feelings to keep the peace
- Blaming themselves for their parent’s moods
- Struggling with identity, boundaries, and emotional safety
The emotional scars are less visible than those of war, but just as real. This is still trauma. Still an ACE. Still something that shapes adult identity, relationships, and self-worth.
Generational Trauma and the ACEs Link
Whether it was the trauma of war or the trauma of emotional neglect, the result is often the same: children grow into adults who don’t know how to feel safe, how to trust, or how to connect emotionally.
The patterns repeat:
- An emotionally distant WWII survivor raises a child who learns not to cry.
- That child grows up emotionally starved — and may repeat the same pattern as a parent.
Understanding ACEs gives us a language for these invisible wounds — and a way to break the cycle. The emotional pain of past generations doesn’t have to be your future.
Somatic Trauma and the Body’s Role in Healing
Trauma doesn’t live only in the mind. It lives in the body.
Many survivors of ACEs — whether they stem from war or family dysfunction — carry tension, dissociation, chronic stress, and nervous system dysregulation. This is where somatic trauma work becomes essential.
Somatic healing helps reconnect you with your body, your breath, and your emotions. It teaches safety from the inside out.
Whether through breathwork, movement, trauma-informed coaching, or body-based therapies, somatic work allows trauma survivors to:
- Reclaim agency over their nervous system
- Discharge stored stress and tension
- Rebuild emotional safety and boundaries
Somatic trauma healing isn’t just about feeling better. It’s about changing the emotional inheritance we pass on.
Moving Forward with Awareness and Compassion
If you grew up in a home filled with fear, silence, blame, or conditional love — whether during wartime or today — your experiences matter.
Your pain is valid, even if others had it worse. Even if no one talks about it.
The trauma you carry may not have started with you — but the healing can.
Understanding Adverse Childhood Experiences, recognising patterns of emotional abuse, and engaging in somatic trauma healing are powerful first steps.
Because trauma can be inherited. But so can resilience.
Kevin R Webb (MEd.L, BEd., BA Found., QTS), Somatic Trauma Informed Narcissistic Abuse Coach
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