You know something is wrong. You can’t explain it to anyone. You can’t leave — or you left and you can’t stop thinking about going back. And you don’t recognise yourself anymore. This is what is actually happening, why it happens, and why none of it is your fault.

You didn’t let a bad person in. You let in someone who looked like exactly the kind of person you respect — generous, well-liked, always doing the right thing publicly. This is what communal narcissism looks like in a real friendship, why it works, and why none of it was your fault.